Self-nurturing does not come easily to us all. There are
those who can balance the needs of others with their own. Many introverted, empathetic, nurturing,
compassionate individuals do not focus on themselves. And the end result can be multi-fold, but we
must recognize the importance of valuing yourself. Honor yourself, as much as you would someone
else - as much as you would want someone to honor you. We all know how powerful love can be. Love
yourself unconditionally, and begin to let go of all the criticisms and shadow-self
talk of not being good enough, successful enough, beautiful enough, or worthy
enough for all your dreams to come true.
This can affect all aspects of our lives, but when we talk
about health, happiness, and wellbeing, we are really talking about honoring
and loving yourself enough to prioritize what would help you the most.
For myself I have learned this lesson, over
and over again, since I am a healer and a mother.
It is easy to focus everything on your patients,
children, significant other and friends.
And I have seen many women feel used up, dried up, left behind, once
their kids grow up and retirement age hits.
Even then, sometimes they need a health scare to prioritize their own
life and start asking the question "What do I need for my highest joy and
wellbeing today?" versus "What does everyone else need today?” Truthfully, what really helped was immersing myself in a passion that didn’t
have to do with anyone else.
So I paint
and let go of that knee-jerk reaction to prioritize everybody else above
myself.
My focus
is always on preventative health care and holistic, natural medicine. That means, every day you contribute to your
health and wellbeing, and you can nurture your life with your thoughts,
emotions, choices, actions, diet, breathing, and sleep. I want to give nine suggestions to help bring
back the intention and focus to loving and honoring yourself every day. Sometimes we feel guilty when we prioritize
ourselves, and that may be a part of this process. Realizing it is okay to value yourself, take
time to pamper yourself, cook and eat the foods that are good for you,
exercise, partake in hobbies and activities that bring you joy.
Eat Breakfast. Do not skip the first meal. You are not doing yourself a favor if you
just have coffee or a small piece of fruit.
If you are dealing with sugar imbalance issues, such as Pre-Diabetes or
Type II Diabetes, it will be extremely helpful to eat protein in the morning,
such as eggs. This may require some
planning ahead of time, but remember, you and your health are worth it.
Pile On Fruits and
Vegetables. Unless there are
allergies or other specific diets constraints, have all the fruits and
vegetables you can manage. Especially
the vegetables! They contain the purest form of nutrition, vitamins, and
minerals, and will not steer you wrong.
Though be mindful that you should vary the different kinds of fruits and
vegetables; some have higher sugar content (such as grapes, peaches and
bananas), and some interfere with the absorption of certain minerals; for
example, spinach and dairy should not be eaten together, since it interferes
with calcium absorption.
Daily Whole Food Vitamin.
If you are living life in the fast lane, it can be hard to acquire all your
nutrients from foods. To combat possible
nutritional deficiencies, it is a great idea to take a daily whole food
supplement. Not all supplements are
created equal. Some are chemically
derived and therefore more difficult for your body to absorb the nutrients
present. Other supplements are made from
real food, or even algae, to provide the most readily absorbable vitamins. These can be a bit more expensive, but there
are several brands to consider for your own nutritional needs. And do not forget to take essential fatty
acids, such as an Omega-3 supplement that supports brain and heart health, as
well as boosting the immune system. And
if you are dealing with excess stress, you will need more water-soluble
vitamins, such as a vitamin B complex and vitamin C supplement (such as
Emergen-C). Please discuss with your
primary care physician regarding any current medications being taken before
starting a new vitamin supplement regimen.
Drink More Water. If you find yourself drinking juice, milk,
coffee, tea, soda, etc. all day long, how much water are you really drinking? If you have issue with your current weight,
it might surprise you how many calories are taken in with beverages every day,
and add up during the week. A recent study has shown that drinking plenty of
water will lower the daily intake of saturated fat, cholesterol, salt and
overall calories. You may not realize
this, but when you feel thirsty, you are already dehydrated at the cellular
level. And sometimes our body signals
hunger pangs when it is actually thirsty!
So keeping yourself well hydrated can keep your appetite in check.
Improve Sleep. Whatever
the issue a patient wishes to focus treatment on, I always ask about their
sleep at every visit. Why? Poor sleep over time can deplete our constitution, and how can one live a fulfilled life without good rest? Your sleep is a good indicator of your
overall health and how your body restores itself; it is important to focus on
if there are any imbalances. Sleep is the foundation of good health, alongside
wholesome food, water, and exercise. They even discovered recently an important
factor in how the lymphatic system of the brain functions: it drains during
sleep. Lymph is the clear fluid that
contains our white blood cells and other illness-fighting cells that naturally
drains back into the circulatory system; but in the absence of restful sleep,
it cannot drain. Think of stagnant water
and how that may affect clear thinking or feeling rested and refreshed first
thing in the morning.
Lift Weights. You do not need to lift large or heavy
weights to receive benefits from them.
In fact, you can use your own body weight as a means of bodybuilding,
such as calisthenics like squats, lunges, crunches, leg raises and
push-ups. Several yoga poses use our own body weight to enhance the benefit
(for example, variations of the Warrior Pose). Looking closer, lifting weights helps
improve our resting basal metabolism, the calories needed while at rest to
manage vital bodily functions such as respiration, digestion and
circulation. If you have any issues with
excess weight, I would highly recommend adding weight training to your exercise
regimen, and even if you utilize five-pound weights, basic calisthenic exercises,
or yoga it will provide an improvement to your metabolism. Finally, for women going through menopause, where
the decreased production of estrogen leads to concerns over bone density loss
and the potential for osteopenia and osteoporosis, weight training can offer benefits
for stronger bones. Lifting weights
causes the muscle to pull on the bone; the strain of the exercise causes the
bone to respond by pulling in more calcium to those areas, increasing
calcification and bone density.
Talk to Someone.
There is no shame in talking to a trusted friend, spiritual adviser, or
counselor about what you may feel is holding you back. Life can pile on the obstacles, regrets,
grief, and frustrations over decisions and even relationships. There is no need to carry this burden on your
own, and sometimes an objective perspective can help us out of our own
ruts. A kind counselor told me during a
dark period that I was using everything going wrong in my life as reason why I
was a failure. I was absorbing it as part of my identity, and frankly it wasn’t
true. It was tough to recognize that and actively counteract that thought
process. She showed me a simple polished
clear blue stone, and told me to imagine all those obstacles in life polishing
me to a beautiful shine. It sometimes
takes time and effort, but she was right in saying that there is no need to
hold on to pain, mistakes, situations out of our control and our perceived
failures. You can let them go and be
happy once again.
Affirmations.
Sometimes we don't have time to meditate, reflect, or talk to someone about our
daily stressors and generally busy lives.
I highly recommend making time for meditation. But I also
believe in baby stepping towards the goal of peace and mindfulness. What can
help in a pinch are positive daily affirmations. I always try to say the most important
affirmations when I drive, which helps relieve the frustration of a long
commute. It also reinforces what kind of
seeds you wish to plant in your mind and for the future. I recommend Heart Chakra affirmations for
developing more self-love and compassion, such as "I deeply and completely
love and accept myself" or "I am open to love and kindness".
Over time, saying the affirmations that hit the root of the issues you are
dealing with can give the strength to make the changes needed to improve your
health and wellbeing.
Follow Up with your
Bucket List. What would make your life extraordinary and full of
passion? Would it be to travel to your
favorite places, finally see the great wonders of the world? Would it be to learn that instrument that you
fell in love with long ago, learn a new language or how to cook? This isn't the same as asking if you only had
a year left to live and clear out your bank accounts for a fun adventure or
even to go 'Wild'. It is about
prioritizing yourself to follow your dreams, your passions, your joy. And not make excuses, especially when it all
boils down to you are not doing what you want because you are making other
people's lives more important than yours.
Give yourself permission to dream.
Take those steps towards your joy.
At the end of yoga class the teacher will usually bow to the
students in prayer pose and say 'Namaste'. It means "I honor the God in
you as it is in me". There is a lot
of wisdom in this one word, acknowledging the divinity that touches us all,
that is available to us all. Some have
the different challenge of learning to value others as much they value
themselves. And others cast themselves
aside, leave their interests and put themselves last and others first. Regardless of where you stand, learn to be
the balance that you seek. Namaste.
